As I was trudging up the stairs looking for some missing clothing item for 16th time this morning I was stunned at what a catastrophe our home is. Clothes everywhere. Popcorn on the floor. Boardgames, paper, crayons, dishes. Didn’t I just pick everything up yesterday? There was not one trace of evidence that I had done anything yesterday. For that matter there was no evidence that I had even existed. What did I do all day?
There are subtle differences between yesterday and today. I made 4 unique breakfasts this morning instead of 3. Frances needed a cheeriosmilkandsugar chaser after her “porridge” (cream of wheat). The dishes left over from dinner last night were actually grosser than usual—the chicken had burned in the pan, the gravy was congealed and dried. No one—i.e. me—had soaked the greasy pans. I have a food hangover from stress induced late-night eating. Awesome.
If I had sat on my ass all day yesterday what would today look like? All the picking-up I did has been eradicated. Most of the food I made is gone and all I have to show for it is dishes. I still haven’t paid the bills or responded to all the emails I don’t want to. I went to the store but forgot eggs so I have to go again. I just found out a pitch I worked on and sent out yesterday has gone to someone else. If I could do yesterday over maybe I should just stay in bed?
There has to be a bright side to this. OK, yesterday was a wash (as many days are). It hasn’t been a Groundhog Year has it? Has it? Oh shit. It kinda has.
If you saw a friggin’ photograph of my house last February 10th it would look exactly the same. A mess. A year ago I was starting my little business. It’s still a little business. My kids are still OK, not rock stars but fine. My friend H’s cancer is still around. And so is he.
I guess that’s basically the point. We are still here. I’ve actually started a viable business. My kids are in school not stealing necklaces or flubbing the national anthem. H is helping me pitch a big website job.
The dishes are in the sink and I am not going to wash them until tomorrow.