”working” mom

I officially started my business 3 weeks ago when I got my first client, the Joffrey Ballet School. It’s exactly the kind of project I want—re-branding—and, since we’re trying to lure moms of young kids and tweens to the school by making visuals more modern, the job is right there in my niche. It’s hard to believe I’m responsible for this; I have major “emperor’s new clothes” anxiety.

Now that I’m “working” from home everyday (still doesn’t feel like work yet) I can see how it’s effecting my parenting. I analyze this a lot, actually and here’s what I know so far. I can’t say I spend any more time with my kids now but the time I do spend with them is better. Mornings are a dream—it’s been months since I yelled at anyone. Because I don’t have to get myself together we’re not late and the whole brood is less stressed. As an added bonus we almost always have milk and a couple options for breakfast. And when I drop Frances at pre-k and she cries for 15 minutes I’m not checking my watch and grinding my teeth. Amazing

At night, instead of rolling in at 6:40 and being greeted by hungry, crabby kids and gulping down a beer as I sit down to eat, I buy groceries, pick up my youngest, and make dinner myself (while gulping down a beer). Life is a little saner. The food is better. We eat at 6.

And then I go back to work. When I should be doing homework with my kids or at least chilling with them on the front stoop, I’m sitting in front of the screen again. What the draw is I can’t say; I don’t have that much work. Am I trying to prove that it’s a “real” job? Or just trying to make up for the perceived under accomplishments of the day? (I went swimming and to 3 grocery stores before work.) Am I just a workaholic?

I’m not sure, but what I do know is: I may have switched my “face time” around but it’s still clocking in the same. The good news? I’m more likely to make pancakes (and we actually have the ingredients).